Saturday, October 17, 2009

A joke from my mom

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like the dickens!! I guess I'd better see a doctor.'

'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.

'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs $10 - A lot cheaper than a doctor.'

So, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
  1. You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and Epsom salts found on aisle
  2. Avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled ..

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

  1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
  2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
  3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
  4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
  5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart
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